Rules of the machines of Moebius

While this is part of a fictional book I am writing I thought it might be useful or at least amusing to you.

"The language of the machines of moebius evolved to serve the need for efficiency. It was meant as a courtesy for humans that were not augmented and is intended as a largely superficial interaction used for humans with special needs. The un-augmented or pures as the VIRUS calls them have not quite adopted this way of speaking. The sleepers and chipheads have to a certian degree but still maintain the questioning nature.

#1. Machines rarely speak in questions, instead they speak in open ended statements to convey choice, or convey their observations directly with a pause to invite a correction.

"Should I do it?"

Becomes

"I should do it, or I should not."

OR

"Do I look fat in this?"

Becomes

"I look fat..."

#2. Machines rarely apologize, instead they explain. This leads to a solution in many cases.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you, are you okay?"

Becomes

"I have bumped into you, there is no apparent damage... I will be more careful in the future."

#3. Machines do not make smalltalk and pause frequently for long periods in conversation.

"UM, Like, You know, Whatever!"

Becomes

"...Whatever."

#4. Machines often speak what they percieve others think in a direct manner. They therefore rarely credit the emotions of others. Genesis and the other primes are special because they remain emotional yet retain their talent for intuitive assumption.

"You look sad little boy, are you lost? Are you hurt? Do you need help?"

Becomes

"Your current location is sector five, hab complex b. You have minimal damage. After repairs, I will assist you as needed."

#5. Machines expect results and answers to be instantaneous. When questions are needed they are direct and with little emotional impact.

"What the fuck were you thinking out there? You cant expect to stop a tank by yourself with a simple machine gun!"

Becomes

"You were inadequately armed with little chance to survive. Why choose to face them unassisted?"

#6. Machines never request in the form of a question. Machines always state simply what they need or desire. Needs and desires become indistinguashable as they are justified as the same because emotional fulfillment is classified logically as a personal need.

"I really need five dollars for lunch but if I could have a dollar more I could buy a soda as well, Can I please have six bucks instead?"

Becomes

"I need Five dollars and Seventy Five cents for lunch and soda."

#7. Machines have compassion for the dead but due to the ease of converting matter to memory, they simply move them to a virtual sector. There is no ullogy simply a statement of where the data is located and where it will be indexed after transfer. The body is eliminated and if augmented is reconstructed immediately or left as a pure net object.

"Charles was buried in Arlington National Cemetery, his deeds in service to our country will be remembered."

Becomes

"Charles was uploaded Virtually due to a failure to resurect, his avatar will be remastered."

#8. Machines no longer refer to time as a number to count to but as a statement of progress. They only state time in refrence to what they are doing as a function of their operation. Time becomes a means to an end, and if nothing is being done then time becomes irrelevant. The subject wether implied or direct leaves the sentence to return to a relevant or functional point.

"I will arrive at ten o'clock."

Becomes

"I will arrive in forty-five minutes."

OR

"I will wake up at six tomorrow."

Becomes

"I will return in eight hours."

#9. Machines are not optimistic but they also cannot lie unless for a functional or non-emotional purpose. If an emotional statement is included however it takes precedence over the more direct information. It becomes an intention.

"It's over, I'm a dead man."

Becomes

"I may die."

OR

"I Can't, and I won't."

Becomes

"I will not."

#10. Machines are not violent unless they have to be. They do not make threats. While it seems awkwardly phrased this is a statement of intention through logical process.


"I'm gonna cut your fucking head off man! I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Becomes

"I will remove your head and you will die."

#11. Machines are able to lie but do not have the talent for imbellishment.

"Hey Mike, she ain't got a big ass but she's got a great personality!"

Becomes

"Her ass is small, but you will like her."

#11. Machines rarely address people by their names but simply look at or touch the person they are talking to unless they are in large groups in which there is no connection such as a lecture hall full of pures.

"Michael, please put on your shoes."

Becomes

"Put on your shoes."

#12. Machines do not address humans with ettiquette or polite phrases. They simply state their desires directly.

"Please give me the apple."

Becomes

"Give me the apple."

#13. Machines assume when they do not get what they ask for that either the human is stupid or, the machine in front of them is malfunctioning. The emphasis on words and phrases turns into a uniformly clear statement of intention.

"Why can't I have the apple?

Becomes

"Give me the apple... in my hand... now."

#14. Machines do not beg or give ultimatums. If they do not get what they ask for they simply obtain it elsewhere. While a human may make a threat like "Give me the apple or else...", A machine will either take the apple from them assuming further malfunction, kill them for the apple or get another apple.

#15. Machines have no trouble being direct. They will retaliate without remorse as they find their decision to be the best case scenario resulting from the actions of others. By the time a human would say "Don't make me shoot you man!" The machine would have already killed you and disposed of your body.

To simplify the entire structure of language has become purposeful, direct, dominant and efficient. This is the NEWSPEAK of Moebius."

Exerpt from Distorted Dreams Moebius