Demons and Multidimensionals 2: The encounter.

I think I was 12 at the time. I was angry. I kept getting bullied at school and I had enough. I wanted to kill the bullies but I only had a kitchen knife and they were rich kids with lawyer parents. It was post Menendez brothers but Pre-Columbine. I knew how that shit ended up. They tried kids as adults.

I was on bad terms with god. I'd come to school and instead of prayer I ended up just venting and cussing up a storm cursing his name for my life at the time. I was the only child of a single mother on foodstamps in the 80s and 90s when the rich were seen as gods and the poor and children of wedlock were seen as the evils of society. I was literally called a bastard child.

I got interested in the occult at an early age after reading about it in my mother's psychology textbooks. Even other students were doing it so I figured if I can't beat them I'd summon a demon who would.

I arranged 5 of my mothers tea light candles in my bedroom in a circle. I poured wax over the top in a circle. I made a pentagram from the wax as well. I took a picture I drew of a black shadow demon. This was before I knew about mothmen, or other cryptids, so I didn't know what I was doing in the least.

I said the words I was told to say by one of the witches of the school and put a drop of blood from an ant bite scab on the paper.

...and then nothing happened.

I blew out the candles and went to bed.

Many nights later there was an apparition that appeared through my bedroom window. It was literally like a shadow you could see through in the shape of a man. He walked throught the wall and through the bed on the other side of the room towards me. I was frozen, paralized and his touch felt like icy daggers on my thigh.

Night became day in an instant and I was still frozen staring out the window scared out of my mind. The thing was gone. I told my best friend Danny at the time but everyone made fun of it. I struggled with the thing for many years and it still comes in the nights and days when I'm alone or the only one awake.

I used to feed it with my anger. An ex of mine saw it leap out of my face once. I was able to blend into the shadows and remain unseen. I also had the ability to move faster than running without explanation of how I could do it by just walking briskly.

I had since then been in the company of many witches and satanists. Most of them are broken drugged up people. Some are simply tired aristocrats who sold out long ago. Few have any true power but some can not only move objects with thought but send pain through your body by simply pointing fingers at you.

I have since rejected the demonic and put it aside. My past with the vampyric and demonic resulted in me witnessing the horrors of death and drug abuse. Every past lover of mine from that time ended up a horrible wasted life. There are fates worse than death.

I've held blood soaked infants dying in my arms. I've witnessed car accidents mere feet from my body. I've seen lightning strike from across the street. Street lights would dim as I walked under them far too often to be a coincidence. I stood up to a man three times my size wielding a knife with just a gleam in my eyes. My heart was cold and black and hollow.

I went to a church once where they did faith healings. I was anointed and after three paces back I was thrust into darkness. I felt cold and weightless as if my thoughts were trailing away. When I came to I sang with them but in my heart I knew something was not right.

A few nights later I saw the shadow. I felt a hand reaching into my neck and it was as if there was a nob on the inside of my neck. I could feel it, like it was connected to my body. I heard a hissing noise like some kind of gas and then felt the same cold weightless feeling in darkness. Later on I was told my throat chakra was cursed without volunteering that information to the practitioner.

Nothing seemed to help. For many years I have tryed metaphysical shops, researching aliens, men and black, mothmen and demons. I have even spoken to members of clergy. I cannot explain it with science unless I give up and claim insanity and hallucination, yet I cannot explain the others who have seen it to.

My blood runs cold to tell you this but I still battle the creature of my own making. Every day it could be there watching and waiting for me to feed on my fear. I cannot offer any advice to anyone on this because I just don't know enough to battle it. I'm studying the bible at the moment but I can't have total faith in that either. Humanity just isn't prepared for that other dimension.

Either way you look at it something is out there we cannot explain with science but even science leaves room for events we cannot explain. A UFO is that strange limbo zone where you don't exactly say it's a flying saucer, but you know, they know, we all know exactly what you mean.

Of course the minute you get into this subject you lose 99% of your credibility, but who cares. I saw what I saw and I posted it.

Comment if you want to but I'm trying to sleep. I'll look here tomorrow or something but for now, I just feel that same feeling that always looms over me.

I'm always on the verge of knowing the truth, but at what cost? Yet again the answers seem to escape me, and in my meditation I focus for the battle that awaits.